I know we have only been together a short time, but I feel as though we have grown apart over the last few weeks.
To begin with, you were everything I had ever needed. The strong silent type who satisfied all my needs and then went on your way. Now things are changing. I have tried to keep you happy and the SFD has done his best to keep you in work by shedding his coat on a constant loop. But, your whining and needy behaviour (I mean, who needs to be emptied after every use, really?) has begun to wear thin.
The fact is, and I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, I just don’t need you in my life anymore.
Goodbye sweet Dyson, it’s not you it’s me!
Seven days until removals!