I pledge allegiance to the back to school routine.

It’s that time again people. Three sleeps until school starts!

funny-kids-are-back-in-school

No more lazy mornings, where breakfast can be eaten whenever we choose. No more lounging around in pj’s watching cartoons until lunchtime. No more playing out in the garden until it gets dark. No more spur of the moment trips to the park. No more grabbing the first clothes you see because no school run means no “yummy mummies” to compete with.

Instead it’s back to ramming breakfast down the Dandelions throats while barking orders at them in my best Sargent Major voice. Hastily throwing food into lunch boxes and quietly hoping nobody checks the nutrition content. Frantic searching for that one school shoe, that even though you placed it carefully alongside all the rest has somehow managed to do a disappearing act 10 minutes before you have to leave the house. Tears and tantrums about getting dressed and hair brushing. Searching for the hairbrush that is never where you left it. The last minute “I forgot my PE kit!” just as the front door is opened. More frantic searching for the PE kit that has fallen into the same abyss as the lost shoe and the hair brush.

th (2)

It’s back to five second showers, grabbing the least dirty pair of jeans and a t shirt, yanking a brush through my hair, searching for a scarf to hide that stain on my t shirt and running out the door hoping my shoes match.

And, once again the hubster has somehow managed to find himself a “must do” course to go on, therefore leaving me to face the madness alone.

However, this year I am ready for it. Routine must prevail and thanks to the power of Pinterest I am completely in control. No, really, I got this shit handled!

polar-bear-cub-chill-out-i-got-this

I have, rather ingeniously, spent the last few days scouring Pinterest for amazing back to school plans. Ok, maybe it was weeks. Actually I kind of got lost in there for a while (so much pretty in one place should not be allowed!) but it was all in the name of sanity.

So, with my new found knowledge in mind, I pledge allegiance to the back to school routine.

This year on the first day of school, I will not fall out of bed in a wine induced haze…

itemImage_111_6_11_20_7_57…scratching my head and desperately trying to figure out what day it is because the schools couldn’t make life easy by gong back on a Monday could they? No, they picked Thursday, I mean really, it’s practically the weekend!

1718

My mornings will no longer involve me taking the form of a zombie rising from the dead!

rise-from-grave

Instead, while the Dandelions still sleep soundly, I will rise happily from my blissful slumber before skipping gracefully from under the duvet and dancing downstairs to embrace the morning routine.

I will set the (oh so healthy!) breakfast table with a smile on my face and a song in my heart (because nobody should ever have to actually hear me sing!). I will leisurely pack lunches chosen from the array of previously prepared healthy and delicious Pinterest “lunch box hacks” in my fridge. I will find happiness (and a small amount of smugness) in the knowledge that all the uniform was lovingly ironed and hung and school bags were packed weeks before and everything is placed in our new school command centre (you see? Pinterest rocks!) making it all so much less stressful. I will dress in my carefully selected “school run chic” outfit (set out the night before- genius huh?), and calmly perfect my hair and make up, before gently waking the Dandelions for breakfast.  Because with Pinterest I can handle anything the little darlings throw at me, with Pinterest I am invincible!

1057103664_yes_i_am_pregnant_card_p137362389260535887q0yk_400_answer_1_xlarge

So you see, I got this. I am not dreading it this year. I am calm and relaxed and organised. This year I can honestly say, I have every confidence that I will get to at least 7.15am on Thursday before I start running around the house screaming “Pinterest is evil!” and preparing to do this…

back-to-school-funny-quotes-i7

Before doing this…

thbecause it’s too early for this…

th (1)

Let the madness commence!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “I pledge allegiance to the back to school routine.

  1. Absolutely hilarious! Although I’m well past those years, I still have nightmares. Loved it! And thanks for stopping by the Cow Pasture. I’m thrilled you liked it well enough to jump the fence. Welcome.

    Like

Comments make me happy! :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: