You would think after 12 years of being an army wife I would have this moving thing down right? Erm, nope! I am wandering from room to room muttering under my breath about dummies and Top Gear. I have found myself following some very, shall we say, odd chains of thought.
Here, have a peek into the mind of an army wife who has received her posting order, been given three weeks to move and had her husband sent away on a course for two of those weeks (perfectly normal occurrence in this life by the way) …
Do I pack the bedrooms or the living room up first? (Well, we had to begin somewhat sensibly.)
Why do we have so many champagne flutes? Seriously, we have like 7 sets! And much as I might like to consume that much champagne, I really don’t- at least not every day.
Why can people in soap operas move to a new city or country and fit all their worldly belongings in the back of a black cab?
I know for a fact that there are several “missing” dummies belonging to all three Dandelions in here somewhere. So why, while I have been packing haven’t I found one single dummy?
Do we have a dummy monster hiding in the back of a wardrobe somewhere?
Do we have a dummy abyss? Maybe behind the toilet?
Have all the dummies fallen through a time vortex into another realm?
Has Doctor Who been in and taken all the dummies?
Are dummies actually evil aliens trying to take over the universe?
Why am I obsessing about dummies?
And why didn’t The Doctor take me with him?
And where did he put the TARDIS?
Oooh, where would we go? Cue an afternoon of fantasizing about the kind of planets that could exist and the adventures I could have as a companion, but that’s another post.
Am I losing the plot?
Who would have thought I could build such a fantastic cardboard box wall? Seriously, Jeremy Clarkson and Co would love to drive very fast vehicles at my cardboard box wall. In fact, in true Top Gear fashion, I may throw a caravan at it before tying it precariously to the top of a three wheeled van (purchased from Ebay) and drive to India.
So, to conclude, it is seriously damaging to your mental well being to marry a soldier and move house every three years!