As a kid I dreamt of being a pop star. I know, didn’t we all? Come now, don’t try and tell me you never jumped around your bedroom with your cassette player blaring loudly and singing into your hairbrush (though I preferred to don a headband in the style of Madonna). There was no such thing as X Factor then (imagine that!), meaning I never had a Simon Cowell type to snatch my dream away and tell me to never ever sing again! No, I spent my teenage years blissfully unaware that I couldn’t sing a note until my dream fizzled away into real life.
But… recently I found myself contemplating life (as you do when the minis are having such a wonderful day that you decide to re-name then The Devil, The Demon and The Anti-Christ) and I realised that in a roundabout kind of way, I am living my dream. No need to call the men in white coats, I am not delusional (although in some ways I may be better off that way) I really am living the life of a super star, all us parents are, let me explain…
*I have my very own entourage, everywhere I go they are with me
*The entourage doubles as groupies
*I must spend all my time entertaining the groupies
*My name is never spoken, only screamed or shouted
*There is constantly someone pulling at my clothes and demanding my attention
*Sooner or later someone will throw a TV or similar through a window
*I am addicted to coffee and energy drinks through lack of sleep because my rock n’ roll life style requires me to stay up all night “partying” with the groupies
*I wear shades ALOT due to waking up bleary eyed (and bad tempered) with a considerable amount of baggage under the eyes caused by said partying
*The hat on my head is not because I didn’t have time to wash my hair this morning (the toddler decided to smear porridge all over the TV and I had to clean that up instead); it is actually because I need a disguise- these groupies give me no peace
*I have a PA (well, a diary but it’s the same thing really) in order to keep up with all my tour dates and meetings (playgroups, coffee mornings, school activities) and other random gigs that may arise
So you see, I am living the dream, case closed. Now hand me the caffeine and no one gets hurt!